Whay a motorcycle is better than a girlfriend

I wrote this years ago, but it reminds me now, in the dark days of February, that I have a friend in the garage waiting patiently and cheerfully for me to take it out and use it cruelly.

Ten reasons why a motorcycle is better than a girlfriend

1. Nobody cares what colour your motorcycle is - not even your parents.
2. You're allowed to have more than one motorcycle.
3. Your motorcycle will not mind if you ride someone else's motorcycle.
4. You can leave your motorcycle at home when you go out with your friends.
5. It doesn't matter how dirty or smelly your motorcycle gets, it's still fun to ride.
6. I doesn't matter how dirty or smelly you get, your motorcycle will still let you ride it.
7. Your motorcycle will not get upset if you want to ride a newer, faster, lighter motorcycle.
8. When you get fed up with it, you can sell your motorcycle and buy another.
9. You can ride your motorcycle every day of the month.
10. Your motorcycle will never, ever take you shopping for lingerie.
11. You can swap motorcycles with your friends now and then.
12. When bits of your motorcycle wear out you can buy new bits to replace them.
13. You can chain up your motorcycle to stop anyone else riding it.
14. Motorcycles whine only when something is really wrong.
15. Motorcycles need tax, insurance and MOT once a year. If you forget, you merely get fined.
16. If you wash and polish your motorcycle it will look a lot better.
17. Your motorcycle will not get upset if you fart while you are riding it.
18. You can leave your motorcycle in the pub car park while you are in the pub, and you can leave it there all evening if you want.